Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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