i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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