I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
