i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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