Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Pappa wants mamma naked
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just had sex bonerless
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize