if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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