i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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