Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
