Are we in a gay sports bar?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
