Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
