Tell her she can't have a vagina
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
