I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
