my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
as a side note pls kill me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
