Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize