after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize