i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
