Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
