I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
