He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
