Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I had to cum in my sink.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
