Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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