Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
