The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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