I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
