He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
