I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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