We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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