I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
