Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
