Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
that's an acceptable place to lick
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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