Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
