So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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