Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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