We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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