Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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