Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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