Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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