How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
