I CAN MOONWALK!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
