I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
