i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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