found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
