do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
