There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
