There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
