Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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