3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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