PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
