i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I cannot find my penis.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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