you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
