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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  what was i wearing?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  What happened to your back?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Rug burn. My ass is even worse.

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