Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he puts the penis in happiness.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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