fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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