Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
