Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize