so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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