she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
