I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
