My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Be still, my beating vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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