Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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