We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
