Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
