you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
They have beer where we have blood.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
