I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
