it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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