I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
