you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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