I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
