this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
