first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
