hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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