Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
