I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize