It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
high people should be assigned attendants
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
