She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
