Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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