brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
