I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize